You can live with them but you should learn to live without them!
“Ann, can you please wash her face?”
“Ann, can you please put her PJs?”
“Ann, can you please heat her food?”
“Ann, can you please bring her books?”
“Ann, can you please brush her teeth?”
“Ann, can you please make her bed?”
“Ann, can you please dress her up?”
Do you notice anything in common here?
All kids-related, and nothing cleaning related. Of course, I cannot and would never stereotype, but let's just say this happens in 50%, perhaps 60% of households! When two parents decide to bring someone to help, originally it is to help clean, to chop the food, to iron, meaning “household chores”, not “children related chores”.
One day I was telling my wife that I want to move to another country, one that could possibly open doors to a brighter future, after all, isn’t that what we all seek? A better future for our children? A future with endless opportunities?!
However, this move is to a country where we cannot get any help except for part timers. She looked at me as if I was telling her a very frightening story and told me to forget about it.
But why? Have I not always helped you with the children? Cooked? Ironed? Bathed? Gave it my all? So why does such a topic scare you?
Have we become so dependent on our nannies, that we are really blind to see the bigger picture? A better future? I would understand if this came from a wife who’s spouse does not help.
For every wife who is receiving help from her spouse, don’t you think this is better for your children? They should know how to tidy their clothes, they should learn how to do their beds, they should learn how to do laundry, they need to go to University with confidence and this is what gives them confidence.
And for all dads who are reading this and don’t help, this is really out of the ordinary! Why is it that the wife and mother have to bear all this responsibility; was it her sole decision to open a home alone? Was it her sole decision to get pregnant and have children? you go to work! So does she!
Life ends, but work never ends, so just draw the line at work, and give your home your all. One day, you will know that this is your greatest accomplishment.
Ending this with a quote I once heard and have not gotten it off my mind since:
“If you want to change the world, start off by making your own bed. If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another, and at the end of the day, that one task completed will turn into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also enforce the fact that little things matter. If you can't do the little things right, you will never do the big things right. And if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come back to a bed that is made.” William H. McRaven