You can live with them but you should learn to live without them

You can live with them but you should learn to live without them
Published : October 03 , 2019
Latest Update : September 25 , 2023
Daddysdo is a parent who has fallen in love with fatherhood and was able to take it with open arms. The idea of... more

“Ann, can you please help her wash her face?”

“Ann, can you please help her put on her PJs?”

“Ann, can you please heat her food?”

“Ann, can you please bring her books?”

“Ann, can you please help her brush her teeth?”

“Ann, can you please make her bed?”

“Ann, can you please get her dressed?”

Do you notice something in common here?

These requests are all kids-related, and nothing cleaning-related. Of course, I cannot stereotype, but let's just say this happens in half, if not most, households! When two parents decide to hire someone to help out at home, originally it is to help clean, chop up food, iron. Meaning “household chores” not “children-related chores.”

Once I was telling my wife that I was thinking about moving to another country, one that could possibly open doors to a brighter future, and, after all, isn't that what we all seek? A better future for our children? A future with more opportunities

However, this move would mean that we cannot get any full-time help at home, only part-timers. She looked at me as if I was telling her a horrifying story and told me to forget about it. 


My daughter folding her clothes.

But why? Have I not always helped with the children? Cooked? Ironed? Bathed? Gave it my all? So why does such a suggestion scare her?

Have we become so dependent on our nannies that we've become blind to the bigger picture? That a better future makes us reconsider? I would understand if this came from a wife whose spouse did not help.

For every wife whose spouse helps her at home, don’t you think that not relying on help would be better for your children? Kids should know how to tidy their clothes, make their beds, do laundry, etc. They need to go to university with confidence, and knowing how to independently do chores gives them that confidence.

Our little girl trying to tidy her bed by herself.

And to all the dads reading this and don't help out at home: that's very strange! Why is it up to the wife and mother to bear all the responsibility? Was it solely her decision to run a home? Was it solely her decision to get pregnant and have children? You go to work and so does she!

Work changes, but your family and home don't, so prioritize your home and give it your all. One day, you will see that this is your greatest accomplishment.

I want to end this with a quote I read once and haven't been able to get off my mind since: 

“If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another, and at the end of the day, that one task completed will turn into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also enforce the fact that little things matter. If you can't do the little things right, you will never do the big things right. And if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come back to a bed that is made.” William H. McRaven


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