Women’s Health

3 steps to have control on your feelings and emotions

3 steps to have control on your feelings and emotions
Published : October 11 , 2020
Latest Update : August 24 , 2022
“I Can” is a kids self-development and coaching organization. Our mission is to empower kids and help them grow their mindset, see... more

By Dana Barto, icanbee.com


In my previous article, I quoted one of my biggest mentors, Dr Joe Dispenza, saying: “If thoughts are the language of the brain then feelings are the language of the body.”

And I explained that when thoughts and feelings come together, we get emotions, and emotions have names, such as happy, sad, bored, excited, angry, embarrassed, calm, anxious, afraid, annoyed, focused, confident, jealous, depressed, and so on.

I asked you to consider this little equation:

Thought + Feeling = Emotion

I further explained that logically speaking, in order to change an emotion, you can either change the thought (the language of the brain) or you can change the feeling (the language of the body).

And accordingly, I showed you a process that can help you and help your child shift your emotions via shifting your thoughts.

Now, we will move to the second part of the formula: How to shift our emotions via shifting our feelings.


Shifting your feelings

Your body is in constant dialogue with your brain. In fact, research has found that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the other way around. 

Many spiritual leaders consider the heart to be the command center rather than the brain.

If you cut yourself, there is that short time when there is no blood flowing and it feels like eternity while you are waiting for it to come out.

The reason for that is that the body first has to tell the brain what has happened and wait for the command from the brain as to how to respond. Once that command is received by the body, the blood begins to flow.

So, if we take fear as an example, to shift our feelings of fear, which will in turn remove our fear emotion, we first must locate them.

A feeling is a bodily sensation. Think of when your stomach would twist and turn because you have an important job interview.

Wًًًhen your heart would beat really fast and your hands would get sweaty because you’ve seen the one you love; when you get angry and your hands feel like they’re on fire; or when your face goes red when you’re embarrassed.

These feelings usually go unconscious, until we decide to pay attention to them, and when we do, we notice that we can move and/or reduce them.

Therefore, when dealing with feelings, follow these steps:

Step 1: Locate the feeling

Scan your body to locate the feeling. Where does it reside in your body?

Focus on the feeling and accept it with no judgment or thoughts; just focus on it.


Step 2: Send a relaxing message

While you focus on the feeling, let your body send your brain a relaxing message. A relaxing message will activate your parasympathetic nervous system, telling the brain and body to relax.

There are various ways to send our bodies a relaxing message. Pick a way that works for you from those listed below.

  • Slow breathing (eight seconds in and eight seconds out).

  • Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) or tapping is also a great way to reset/reboot your body.

  • Smiling. Try feeling grumpy as you smile, it’s practically impossible.

  • Exercise is a great way to release serotonin, the happy hormone.

  • Mindfulness and Meditation. Extensive research has shown that meditation is very effective in regulating emotions.

  • Prayer and gratitude.


Step 3: Establish a habit

Repeat as often as possible, because doing a good thing once can have a positive effect but doing it regularly enhances the effect and creates a positive habit.

And remember, your thoughts and feelings create your emotions, and emotions are what drive our actions. Stay in control of your emotions and you will stay in control of your life.

[For more information, contact I Can Self Development for Kids. Our coaches will be happy to answer your questions].


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