Parenting with Emotional Intelligence: Setting Goals
One night, after a long and hectic day with my two boys, I sat down to unwind and relax after putting them to sleep, and as I was contemplating my day, a thought crossed my mind which was a direct question: Why am I parenting? I know that we all want to raise our children to be happy and successful, but it can feel like a mandatory job or a tiring routine sometimes. I never asked myself: What do I want from our relationship? And is there something for me as well? Just recently, I understood that setting goals for myself for the relationship is essential to empower me to achieve positive results and to give me the drive whenever I am feeling overwhelmed, tired, or stuck.
So I’ve envisioned my future relationship with my kids and how I wanted to be connected to them, then I’ve set this goal: “I want that kind of a relationship where my boys would visit me because they want to, and not because they have to”. This goal became my motivator; whenever I’m feeling down or helpless, I would turn to this goal and think of my options, then I would choose the action steps that will help me achieve it by building a solid foundation in the present based on love, respect, enjoyment, and trust.
Now is your turn:
- On a piece of paper write one or more goals for your relationship with your kids, envision your future together and ask yourself how do you want to be connected to them? What is important for you? And what is important for them? Your future doesn’t have to be far, it could be next week or next month. P.S: you can even draw your goals and be creative.
- Hang the paper somewhere you can easily go back to: on the fridge, in your bedroom, on the mirror.
- Go back to these goals whenever you feel you lost track, drained, overwhelmed, or simply feeling down, and think about how you feel about these goals and how can they impact your actions.
When writing your goal/s, what emotions did you feel? How can these goals impact your everyday choices? How can they give you the energy to show up as the parent you want to be? And how can you influence your children?