Staying quiet about being pregnant was not that difficult, because I had a good reason for it! I needed to be as sure as possible before telling my children. The most difficult part was that I didn’t have the ability to use the excuses “I am pregnant! So, yes I am going to have a nap now” or “I am pregnant. So, please do not use that perfume” or “I am pregnant so let's not go to that Japanese restaurant”. I kept being told, that I look tired (which didn't help much with my ever-growing age issue).

But, of course we did tell our mothers. Telling my mother was one thing (since she had been vocal about how 4 children are enough), and asking her not to tell anyone was a whole other issue! But, of course she was over the moon for me. She said "This baby is going to be as amazing as your other children! How can I not be happy!" she was over the moon for me.   My mother comes from the school of thought that cats, rabbits and monkeys get pregnant, so it is not a big deal! Why not tell everyone and give them some happy news to celebrate. This was in contrast with the majority of the Arab world; where they believe that a woman should not announce her pregnancy until the second trimester. I have seen mothers with bellies, obviously showing, completely deny their pregnancy, and then give birth 3 or 4 months later! I explained to my mother that after the scan, I won’t mind telling anyone, and that the reason for keeping it quiet is that a lot can happen in the first trimester. Couple that with me gallivanting around India and eating whatever I wanted the first 8 weeks, I was understandably nervous. The “eating whatever I want” was an issue. In my previous four pregnancies, I had a mild feeling of nausea but I never threw up. This time, although I didn't throw up I felt horrible all the time. The only things that did not make me feel nauseated were bread and pasta, so you can imagine how great that was for my weight! In all my pregnancies, I gained around 22 Kilograms. I am not proud of it but it happened. I am determined not to do the same now. But 10 weeks in and I have already gained two and a half Kilograms. Week 10 came around and so far it had been easy to keep quiet about the news, because still I couldn't quite believe it myself!  

At the clinic:

I went in for my blood tests, and they also asked for a urine sample (not fun), in order to check for Urinary Tract Infection and how hydrated I was. The doctor also told me they offer a new blood test that can detect 12 different kinds of genetic disorders including Down syndrome by testing the DNA of the baby that is in my blood. I was totally fascinated by the idea that I carry my baby's DNA in my blood and that it's testable!' I asked if this test also determines the gender of the baby and the doctor said “yes, but that's not why we do it!” I opted to do this test which involved taking a ridiculous amount of blood from me. This test can be done any time after 9 weeks of pregnancy, and takes two weeks to process. I again asked for a quick ultrasound. It was becoming very difficult to keep the secret from my kids, and I just wanted to see that little flicker again before telling them! They obliged, likely because it is a private clinic and they would charge me for it. And thank God there was my little flicker and the reassuring 'whoosh whoosh whoosh' so we decided to tell the kids.

The big reveal!

I wanted to catch the children's reactions on camera so I told the children we had a surprise for them but first they had to sit down so I could take a picture of them. I held up the camera and said, 'say cheese' and clicked the record button. They obligingly said a bored 'cheese'. Then I said, 'one more, say mama is having a baby!’

Saud my 13-years-old was the first to get it. His eyes grew bigger and he sat up right and said 'we are… you are... you are pregnant?’ I said 'yes!' He jumped up and hugged me and his father and said 'Mabrook (Congratulations)!’   However, Aljohara my 10-years-old daughter who was smiling until I had dropped the bomb shell, and when it sunk in; her smile melted off her face, and she just sat there dumbfounded. Abdullah my 7-year-old said 'say Wallah!! you have a baby? now? can I see?' He was up and touching my tummy and laughing. Aljohara still hadn't moved. She gave a half-hearted 'Mabrook' and a less than genuine smile and said, 'I can't believe it.' I then called my 4-year-old into the room and gave him the news too. He was happy but mostly indifferent. I think it was a bit much for him to process that something was going to happen in the near future.

I was baffled by Aljohara's reaction but did not push it with questions, although I had many. Later that evening she came into my dressing room, and confided in me that she was worried about how things will change (so was I) and how much time I will have with her (so was I). Aljohara... my ever-practical daughter. She was worried and so was I. But, I assured her, despite me having no idea how things will be once baby was here, that things won't change forever. That even if I do get tired during the pregnancy and busy with the new baby, things will eventually settle. Over the next few weeks her anxieties seem to have abated and she was more comfortable with the idea.

  Two weeks had passed with no event!

I kept falling asleep in my 4-year-old’s bed during his bedtime story and on the couch if no one was talking to me for more than 5 minutes. My appointment for my 12-week’s scan was due. This was an important scan. Many OBGYN's don't do scans before this one. This scan along with the routine blood test are the first trimester screenings that any clinic or hospital would do for a mother. And since, I had already done the blood test, I was anxious to get the results at this appointment.

The scan went well. My previous doctor used to explain everything for me during each scan appointment, he even used to conduct them himself, while the norm was to have them done by the Ultrasound Technician. So, I kept asking the doctor questions like 'is that the femur you're measuring?', and 'are you checking the blood flow in the heart chambers?' or 'what's the head circumference?’ He was mildly amused and I felt my last doctor would have been proud. And, thank God everything was ok with the scan. After that, we went into my OBGYN's office so he can go over the blood tests with me. Most importantly, all the tests for genetic disorders had negative results and my blood tests were all good.

  Now for the sex of the baby!

I was solo at this appointment. My husband had told me he would rather not know about the gender just yet (as he had said in all our other pregnancies). I get how exciting it could be to wait until the baby actually comes out, but I like to plan. I like to be ready and prepared. I always do insist on knowing the gender and then feel a little pang of regret when they tell me but I'm a creature of habit. As I have mentioned before I have 3 boys and a girl. Up until that day I was certain it was a boy. But when the doctor was doing the ultrasound I started referring to the little image on the screen as a she. I kept saying 'she's moving' or 'is that her hand'. I sat waiting for the confirmation of the gender with 100% certainty it was a girl because my mother’s intuition had kicked in full force. The gender cannot be determined by ultrasound before 18 weeks usually and even then, it will be iffy. However, this blood test’s result is 99% accurate. But I was certain she was a she right then and there.  

'It is a boy' the doctor laughed. So much for my mother’s intuition! It's a boy! It's a healthy boy. thank God for that.

  I went home and my husband saw me smiling and said 'you couldn't wait right! You asked what it is.' I said, 'you know me well'. He said ‘well?' I smiled, then he said, 'that can mean anything' I told him it was a boy and that he was naming him. I gave up all my naming rights (will explain this one later).

  I walked upstairs to tell the children and was met by my 10-year-old daughter, "we're outnumbered more than before Habeebti" I said. She was less than thrilled. I reminded her that the important thing is that the baby is healthy. And pointed out the positives of being an only girl of which there are many. The boys of course were happy to hear it. 12 weeks down, 28 more to go!

  Symptoms:

1. Bloated stomach:

   Not at all near a baby bump yet, but big enough to make clothing tight. I had to leave some Jeans’ buttons undone!

2. Nausea:

   It is supposed to start getting better now… I am waiting.

3. Sleepiness:

   Still cannot stop falling asleep.

4. Emotional:

   I am short tempered and anything can make me cry.

5. Lack of energy

Advice:

• Try to be sensible in your diet.

  I know I'm not the best person to talk about this, but believe me you will regret excessive weight gain in your first trimester later in pregnancy. There is no thing such as eating for two. If you have terrible morning sickness in the first trimester, try to eat anything that you can keep down and don't forget to take your prenatal multivitamins to compensate for lost nutrients.

• Don’t fight the fatigue.

  usually we regain our energy in our second trimesters... Try to sleep whenever you can, because only God knows if you are going to sleep once you get into that 7th month, and then of course the baby will come and it will be a while until you have a nice full night’s sleep!

• Your trousers may start getting a bit tight by the end of this trimester so investing in, “Belliband”

  or any other product that can help you keep wearing your normal jeans longer. I am not a fan of maternity clothes, and of course if all fails, thank God for leggings!