By: I Can Self Development for Kids

Sitting across the table from my sister-in-law at a family lunch, my sister-in-law blurts out "I wish my daughter was more confident." hmm I think, her 10-year-old seems happy but quiet. There's nothing wrong with being quiet but I understand her wish for her daughter to emerge from childhood feeling confident.  In fact most parents want their kids to feel confident - to believe in themselves and to go for their dreams.

So how do we raise a confident child?

First of all, let’s define self confidence and differentiate it from self esteem which we have discussed in a previous article. Self Esteem is how you feel about yourself and what you believe about yourself. For example: I am smart, I believe I am talented, I make friends easily, etc. Self confidence on the other hand is what you believe you can achieve, i.e. having a can do attitude. For example: I can win the race, I can get an A, etc.

Therefore there is such a strong parallel between how children feel about themselves and how they acts.  Children with a strong self-image are usually better at getting along with others, performing in school, achieving in extracurricular activities and handling challenges. Self-confidence is the reason behind why one child shines, while another seems to struggle with behavioral and social issues.

Unfortunately, no matter how much we love our children, we cannot give them confidence.  What we can do is help them develop it themselves.

Here are few tips and fun activities I’ve personally tried to help you with this task:

• Model self-confidence.  Confident parents raise confident children.  You need to not only talk the talk but walk the walk.  Remember you children are watching your every move.

• Talk with your children about what confidence is and inspire them with powerful stories. Teach them that confidence is all about what they believe about themselves and what they believe they can achieve.  While reading our bedtime story, I usually pick a character from the story and discuss whether the character shows self-confidence or not and why.

• Explain to your children the concept of personal best and beating their own record.  One exercise you can do is to create a “Power Poster” where they list 5 or more personal strengths and 5 or more areas they want to improve at.

• Brainstorm together what they love about themselves – from their values, their character, their gifts and talents. Have fun drawing self-portraits and “I love me!” posters which illustrate what each person loves about themselves.   When children focus on what they love about themselves, their confidence soars.

Finally learn to accept your child for who he is. Quiet children are not necessary unconfident and bossy kids are not always confident.  Discover your child’s gifts and strengthen them. Raise the child you have, not the one you want.

In the next article we will cover what “not to do” in order to raise a confident child.  Stay tuned.

[For more information contact I Can Self Development for Kids]