Hi there!

If you’re between the ages of 10-15 and are reading this article because you have a new or existing stepparent but your relationship isn't on the best of terms, then you’ve come to the right place. 

I’ve seen hundreds of articles online addressing stepparents on the different ways they can build a positive relationship with their stepchildren. Nowhere, though, did I see an article or blog talking directly to you guys, the stepkids, with advice on handling this type of relationship.

Just like you, I was one of the thousands of kids around the world to experience living with a stepparent. My mum and dad parted ways when I was really young, so getting a stepparent happened before I could convince them to reconcile! 

Don’t get me wrong, I did everything in my power to try and get them back together but once my stepmum (I was 10 by then) settled into her new marital home (in other words, our family home), that was that. My stepdad didn’t come into my life until a couple of years later, and, I must admit, that was a very interesting dynamic because, unlike me, he was from Britain.

As I learnt to live with this new family dynamic, I realised that my parents weren’t just mum and dad... they were Suhad and Ziad. Yes, they had actual names and personalities, wishes and wants, and rights - like the right to individual happiness and to be loved by someone other than me or their family and friends.

I’m telling you, that threw my urge to be selfish right out the window; I deeply cared for my mum and dad but I also liked my stepparents. Shocking, I know! Maybe I struck it lucky in the step-parenthood domain or maybe my personality played a role in building a beautiful relationship with those two new strangers.

I know it’s not easy to see your family split up and I completely understand that your personality might clash with your stepparent’s, but as long as they’re nothing like the Wicked Stepmother in Cinderella, there’s hope that you two can be friends.

If you still don’t have the best relationship with your stepparent, here are some things you can do that might help change that.

Be nice

This is all new to you and the last thing you want to do is be all smiles with this semi-stranger. But think about this: your parents do everything in their power to make you happy and you owe it to them to do the same. Start with some simple stuff, like:

• Asking them how their day was

• Making them a nice cup of tea 

• Helping them set the dinner table

• Fetching something they need from the other room

• Watching their favourite show together

TikTok

What’s more fun than TikTok? Umm, making TikTok videos with your family, that’s what! Come on, just think of how hilarious it’ll be to see your stepparent trying to lipsync or attempting to master the choreography of one of the trending dances.

Spend time alone together

I know you’d rather be spending time with friends or on your PS (those Marvel games are addictive!) but trust me when I tell you that spending some alone time with your stepparent will make a world of difference to your relationship. You can:

• Go out for some ice cream

• Watch a new movie at the cinema

• Have a theme park adventure

• Take a boat trip

• Go for a stroll in the park

Meet their friends

This might sound boring (or even crazy) but you’ll see your stepparent in a different light once you’ve met their friends. Why? Because we all have a different, more fun side to us when we’re around our mates, and when you see your stepparent in that light, well, they won’t seem that bad after all.

Let them help you

Your stepparent is old enough to have the right amount of life experience to help you with whatever problem you might be facing, so go ahead and ask for their help. You’ll appreciate them a lot more afterwards and will begin to feel closer to them. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to have two, instead of one, people to go to for advice, right?

Tell them a secret

Relationships are all about trust and sharing a secret with someone in the hope that they don’t tell anyone (in this case, your parent) will show you just how much they care about you. So whether you tell them a real or fake secret, rest assured that they’ll keep it to themselves because they truly care about you. And that’s when you’ll begin to trust your stepparent and your relationship will blossom.

If you need any help or have any questions, send me an email on [email protected] and I'll do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

*Thumbnail photo credit: Popsugar