أغسطس 29 , 2016 10:46 صباحاً
So me and my wide went for a vacation for a week, and left our 11 month old son with both his grandparents. and when we came back he rejected his mom and became very attached to me, its been 5 days, its getting better but still not bonding with her the way he used to. He got sick the first day we came if that matters. what’s the proper approach in this case?
عدد الأجوبة: 1
أغسطس 29 , 2016 9:28 مساءًبقلم: سيرسا قورشة
Thank you for reaching out, what an interesting question- I am sure many parents would benefit from learning more about this issue. Firstly, let me say this change in your baby's behavior must be difficult for both you and your wife. Keeping your baby's age in mind, what we know about social/emotional development at 11 months can be very useful. I'd like to focus on two important issues, which are: 1- Attachment peaks between 6 -12 months- so right now your baby knows who his primary caregivers are; psychologists call this the creation of "comforting mental images" which young children develop at this age and once you leave for certain periods of time he very much notices the absence of these comforting images 2- Object permanence - your baby now has the cognitive ability to know that things that are out of sight still exist. So, he knows that just because he doesn't see you doesn't mean that you aren't around somewhere. Now as for what to do! This situation requires patience and sensitivity. As a team, you can start doing things together with your baby such as reading books, meal times etc. Very gently, involve mom in daily routines for your baby and comment on her involvement genuinely while expressing joy regarding the fact that the three of you are spending time together. Also, as much as possible go back and stick to a daily routine that will ease your baby back into familiarity which is important to lessen any anxiety he might have felt during the separation. Another important aspect to keep in mind is mom's reaction of her son's rejection. As difficult as it is, it's important that mom does not turn away or express her disappointment but rather to remain close and connected with the baby. Slowly and gently then ease into 1-1 time between baby and mom. It might take a bit of time but you can re-establish a new routine. Regarding his getting sick, keep in mind that baby's get very cranky and so they are in need of consistent and loving care during this period, so be sure to include lots of quiet and cuddle time- that could also be another important aspect regarding his current behavior. Finally, I'll just include some additional and brief notes regarding attachment and separation, it's important to: - always say a sincere goodbye when leaving the baby - play hide and seek games - as you walk around the house and move out of sight- talk to him. This helps him know you are around and your presence is comforting I hope this was helpful. Be sure to check back in if you need any other information!