Mothers’ Stories

A mother of three boys

October 01 , 2018
Sarah Shafagoj
Sarah Shafagoj, a proud mama to three boys 10, 8 and 2.5,  She studied marketing at the University of Jordan and she is currently a stay at home...More

Are you a boy’s mom? A girl’s mom? An only child mom?

Well, whatever the gender or number of your kids is, I salute you, you are doing a great job no matter what.

 

I myself I am a mother of three wonderful boys, but my main issue here is my struggle of constantly being under the pressure of, “You must have a girl now”.

Whenever I mention how many kids I have and that they are all boys, people around me make sure to force the idea that having a girl is a must, and I can imagine that a girl’s mom gets the same reaction too.

I always wanted a girl and I wish I had one honestly, but having three boys is a handful, and raising either gender is a great responsibility. I love my kids endlessly, so why the pressure people?

Here is why; and here is what people tend to claim, based on their own experiences; the girl will be yours forever, she is the one who will help you out at home, she will be more passionate and caring whenever you get sick, tired, or simply in need of her, but for God’s sake, give me a break, why do people have to assume that you will always be missing out on something if you’re not blessed by the two genders? I know there is probably something true about their claims but this doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with your current situation.


My boys and I

And to all the girls’ moms out there, I don’t know what you are going through concerning this matter but I’m sure you go through this too. You have to bring an heir to the family, what a shame that you only have girls, how bad is it for your husband not to have a boy to carry on his legacy? Unfortunately, we stopped having any consideration to other people’s feelings anymore.

 

Some women go through a lot of physical and emotional pain because of this, what is the point of having to go through so many pregnancies (and the whole package that comes with it) not to forget that some also go through artificial insemination just to bear that missing wonder child!

I am not saying there is anything wrong with wanting and working hard to be able to conceive a girl or a boy, this is a private matter to all couples and pretty personal too.

But what gives others the right to interfere? That is what I am trying to understand.

When is the shame of having only girls going to come to an end?

When will the stereotype of boys not really belonging to you when older going to end?

 

As for me and how I deal with it, it is not that easy, but I do try to get my boys involved in house chores like making their beds, helping with laundry, tidying up their toys and so on.

I remember when I got sick one time, they were very helpful and caring, bringing me comfort in any way they could.


My boys trying to help me

I try to make them understand that boys and girls have the same responsibilities when it comes to how they deal with their parents and what is expected of them at home.

 

There is another major issue in our society that I would like to tackle through my story a well; which is this "double standard" idea that a boy can have more freedom such as late curfews, having fewer matters to tend to at home, not being asked where he was and what he did, while the girl has more boundaries and restrictions, she has more chores at home, she is expected to help more and do more, while having less freedom to do other things, just because of her gender.

Yes, a boy will grow to be a tough man, but girls are also tough and can do wonders.

The issue here is that we are all human beings at the end, I worry about my boy just like you worry about your girl.

 

We should raise them to be loving and compassionate, to be responsible, if you have boys and girls as your children you should make it clear that they are treated maturely and fairly. Let us change the norm and start looking at things from a more open, understanding perspective.

 

God bless.