How IVF changed the way I viewed life
- How many kids do you have?
- Oh really, how long have you been married?
- Oh. (Awkward silence)
This is a typical conversation with people I meet weekly. The usual question after noticing that I’m wearing a wedding band and well let’s face it, I don’t look like the 24 year old I was when I first got married.
With all the freedom and women empowerment movements happening all around the world, the topic of infertility has yet some catching up to do and especially in our region. Somehow people find it very easy to bluntly ask about the reasons for delayed childbirth without having a single thought about how it might affect the person facing them, but that’s a whole different story.
One in seven couples have some kind of difficulty in conceiving with a range of problems, one in seven is your sister, brother, bestie or gym buddy.
As a Pharmacist who has both worked in the field of IVF and a current warrior myself (and I don’t use the word warrior lightly) I have learned that the taboo of the word infertility is something that we should be aware of, it is a private medical condition that every couple has the right to disclose or not without the “shame” associated with it.
At an age where almost all of my friends are already mothers or having babies I notice myself feeling a little lost, I am now an expert on diaper changes, feeding schedules and school registries well without a kid to call my own, the feeling of missing out is inevitable, the fear of it never happening is heart stopping. My faith in God combined with the greatness of modern science is what keeps me going on daily basis, the advances of tests and technologies since my husband and I first started our journey are so vast that I cannot help but wonder what past warriors would have gone through if they had just started their journey at this day and age. Huge amounts of emotional suffering spared not to mention the heaping medical bills which are not covered in insurance.
Online blogs have been my haven, asking and posting anonymously has been my own personal playground. So if you are a fellow fighter, please do not feel ashamed to ask for help or guidance, as much advice your physician can give you, you need the emotional support and sometimes it’s from outside of the relationship.
We do not have any TTC (trying to conceive) communities in the country but you can start your own mini group with a woman you admire but had no idea has been trying for a second child for three years.
Positivity goes a long way no matter how hard it gets, light will always be there.